Today I am celebrating 13 years of continuous sobriety, one day at a time. That is 4,748 days strung together without picking up a drink. An amazing achievement for me—someone who was a daily drinker for decades.
As I celebrate my sobriety, thoughts of what it was like to get sober come up. The slightly blurry photo above was taken on my second day of sobriety. Out of focus is a good analogy for how I was feeling at the time. Our three children were all outstanding athletes. My wife, Karalee Greer, and I were big supporters of their efforts, often being the only parents who would show up for games. On January 29, 2009, we showed up at Britannia Secondary School gym here in Vancouver to watch our youngest son Allen play for the junior basketball team (he’s number 11 taking the shot in the photo).
Earlier, Karalee and I had gone to dinner. Two days before I had gone to my first ever 12-step recovery meeting. At dinner, I told Karalee that I had attended a meeting, that I was an alcoholic, and that I planned to quit drinking forever. This was a complete shock to Karalee. As a high performing alcoholic, I could “hold my liquor,” not slurring my words or falling down, even after drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Karalee, like many people, didn’t see how I could have a problem with alcohol. I didn’t fit her model of a homeless person, living rough, and drinking out of paper bags. It turns out that very few alcoholics fit that model, including me.
My truth was that as an alcoholic and daily drinker, I showed up to evening basketball games having had at least a six-pack before leaving the house. I often had a couple beers in the pocket of my coat. I’d find some excuse to sneak off to the bathroom, with my coat, so that I could guzzle down the beers. I cringe thinking about this now, but that’s where my addiction took me. While I never got caught, that I know of, I knew in my heart of hearts that it was wrong, and I was setting a terrible example for the young people on the basketball floor.
After getting sober, I made an amend with each of our three children for not being fully present with them. Since then, I have committed to doing my best to being fully present in my life without using any drug or alcohol to artificially change my perception of the present moment. I have managed that for 13 years—one day at a time.
If you struggle with alcohol or drugs, especially if you are an entrepreneur, know that there is a solution. We cannot get clean and sober on our own. Reach out. I’m here to listen.
